To bond or not to have bonded……that is the bump.

Bonding with your bump

Bond baby bond

My first pregnancy was not all that first pregnancies are meant to be.
Basically, I struggled a lot.

Not because I was pregnant, or because I was ill, or too big, or any of the normal complaints.

Simply because I was pregnant.

You see….. one of my friends had been trying desperately to get pregnant for at least 2 years and still hadn’t managed to fall pregnant.

I, on the other hand, had fallen pregnant in a blink, and I felt terribly guilty. I really felt terribly guilty, and sorry for her, and spent most of my pregnancy trying to pretend that my pregnancy didn’t exist.

Whenever I met up with her I didn’t want to discuss the pregnancy,  and look like I was boasting. I was also very small, so the ‘bump’ did not show much.

Looking back, I can’t  change the way things were, but I’m sorry I didn’t really ‘bond with the bump’. Not that I am not bonded to the gorgeous child that came out, but what I should have had the opportunity to do was enjoy my pregnancy, love being pregnant, be happy telling all my friends, and revel in the joy of being able to pro-create.

According to Marion Stoppard, bonding with your bump is one of the most important things you can do.  The time you have whilst you bump grows, is the time nature provides you with to get used to the idea  that your life is about to change in immeasurable ways.

Trust me if you have a child already, you know what I am talking about, and if you don’t have a child yet, you will know pretty soon!

I’m not a ‘gushy’ mum, who goes all ‘gaga’ about the miracle of birth, and the joy of pregnancy and giving life or having a life created inside you etc, but what I do realise is that it is pretty awesome the I can create another being, (obviously with some male help) and incubate it, inside me.

Now that I’ve had two, and desperately want a third, I realise how amazing it is that I could probably conceive a third pretty easily, and do the whole process over again. And this time I would revel in the amazing thing it is having a ‘bump’.  It’d probably be my last opportunity to do that, so I think I’d go a little over the top, and really enjoy the experience.

So, if you do have a bump, take the time out each day to enjoy the ‘bump’. Spend time and energy in the bonding, and just enjoy the moments as they come. It’s a short lived nine months (thank goodness!) and it’ll just come a few times in your life.

Bond, baby, bond!

You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

3 Responses to “To bond or not to have bonded……that is the bump.”

  1. Bonding and then attachment are so important for babies and for the parents. Enjoying pregnancy for many women is truly difficult for some women as there can be so many external things going on in their lives.However, if you can remember to set aside a small amount of time each day to stroke your tummy, contemplate the joy of your forthcoming baby it will be a tremdous help for you when baby is born, as you will already feel connected.

    Attachment to your newborn is vital as it impacts on your relationship with the child throughout its life ,as well as affecting the child. You are its first experience of a relationship, of developing trust and of experiencing another human being. Make it a positive start for both of and life will be enriched.

    for more inofrmation see Attachment.

    Gaylin Tudhope
    Social psycholoist and psychotherapist

  2. Bernarda Pourner says:

    Very nice post.

  3. katalogi seo says:

    I found your blog in Google few moments ago, and luckily, this is it I was looking for the last hours, thanks

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Blog Promotion by UK SEO Company.