Wouldn’t we all love the instant recipe to bringing up great kids? If we could just have a recipe that said :
1 x baby
2 x Gallons of Love
1 x house
2 x Parents Generous dose of kindness
1 cup of Rules to taste
Season liberally with boundaries
21 years of listening and communicating
12 years of education (minimum)
Add lots of safe environment, play and fun
Mix together, fold all in well, and hold in loving hands and heart for as long as possible. When you turn them out, they will be happy, healthy, well adjusted contributing members of the community who help others and contribute to society in a meaningful way. All done then!
Don’t we wish it was that easy? Yeah, right! It might be almost like that if you begin from scratch with your loving partner, don’t get divorced and remarried, and you both agree irrevocably on the same morals, values and family rules.
However, throw in dollops of divorce, anger, sadness, remarriage, resentment, etc, and you are likely to end up with a flop of a family cake! So, what’s the answer? Well, there is no one answer I’m sorry to say. The well – known psychologist Gaylin Tudhope says it takes “Patience”. I am very short on that, but I have to listen to the experts, and try to do my best.
What I do have to say is I am passionate about staying with my partner, and passionate about what he means to me. That doesn’t mean I love my kids any less, but clinging onto them, and shielding them from real life experiences will not do them or me any favours.
All children want to spread their wings eventually, but if ill equipped, then their failure really is my failure.
I want them to want to come back, and not be fighting to get out the front door first, tramping over anyone in the way in their haste, never to return.
So I am trying to learn the Art of Patience.
I’ve downloaded Mediation on my iPod, I read self help books, and I de -stress with friends. I love my bike, I love to cycle in the Forest, and I love to write on my blog and write my books. All good for me, and all self- building I think.
So when in a tiff, or about to lose your mind, go for a walk and remember ‘Patience’. Maybe use it as your Mantra – and I hope it helps!