I read a post the other day where a Mum confessed that at time she was a yelling, screaming Mum, and she wondered if her kids would remember her that way.
I don’t think so.
I think we are all yelling, screaming banshees at some stage, but that does not define us. We are also loving, kind, thoughtful people, who, at times of great stress, lose it a a little.
I think we all struggle to cope at times, are pushed beyond our limits, disrespected just a little too much, and not appreciated. We all feel like that at times, we just don’t admit it.
Do I think our kids will remember us like that? No.
I think in times to come, they will see us for who and what we were over time, a loving , kind, stressed, tired but always there Mum. Perhaps not the best at helping with homework, but there to drive them to every activity, buy their favourite food, and mop their tears when they are dumped by the latest boyfriend/girlfriend.
There for every cricket match, dance recital (ok, I missed the last one but I had a VERY good excuse), play date, parent teacher meeting ( single Mum – no choice!), and grazed knee.
I’m not a perfect Mum by any means. I’m very Tough Love, believe independence is paramount, can’t stand cotton wool kids ( and loathe the parents more), I’m opinionated, assertive, and head strong. And yes, my kids are a bit like me too. Strong, opinionated, and stubborn.
Is that wrong? No, I don’t think so. Everyone has emotions, some of us display it a bit more, and others are more calm. I call it passion, you call it what you want. The French call it ‘Joie de vivre’ or a love of life. I like that. The French are passionate and lively too.
Whatever you call it, it doesn’t mean it defines you. Your kids will remember a million other things you do in your life, like how you treat people, how you talk about others, how you run your marriage. How fair you are between them ( believe me they’ll remember THAT one forever), and how much you loved them, even when they were being horrible.
In times to come we’ll all laugh about the screaming banshee, and you will too.
Oh, and that Mum I was talking about before? Read her blog here. Enjoy!