The shooting in Connecticut

Candles for the lost souls….

The shooting of those young innocent lives, and the teachers and support workers that helped those kids has affected me profoundly. I guess as a Parent just about anyone has got to be affected.

The fact that a person could be so callous and thoughtless, and unaffected by how many lives they are going to destroy, with this type of act amazes me.

Yes, it still does amaze me – but I am not surprised.

I bang on about how if your child is not taught to be community minded, then we’ll have problems later.

I harp on how your child needs to do team sports to make them feel part of a team (even if they are terrible at it), and teaches them to help others and be helped.

I harp on about how you have to encourage your child to do some type of Community work that benefits other people for which they get no reward themselves – other than seeing other people get helped.

Yes, I get on my high horse, and I have no idea if the shooter did do some of these things or not, from the TV reports he was a loner, with a small circle of friends. Possibly mildly autistic / Aspergers, and loved gaming (no surprises there).

I harp on how violent games desensitizes  kids from the real world.

But I have to say that I think these things make a difference.  And I think it stems from the parents.

My daughter would not have got involved with the School Council if I had not encouraged her to.  Now she’s meeting with bus companies, school Directors and Police people in her duties there. She’s making a difference.

She wouldn’t have won the Netball championships twice in a row, if I didn’t push her to play, and she felt great when she did. The whole team did, and they felt part of a real team. Part of a  group. Accepted by her peers.

Yes, I know each kid is not a brilliant sports person, but they can find SOME team to be in. Schools have loads. They just have to be encouraged and pushed a little. They’d never do it if left to their own.

It comes down to the parents in the very beginning, and to what people want to do, and who they want to do it with. Unless you push them a little bit more and ask them to think of others, and get involved for the good of other people.  People only do what they want to do because it’s important to them.

The kids won’t walk the dog unless I push them.. So I push them.  My partner refuses to walk the dog at all – unless his son will walk the dog and then he’ll walk with him. He walks with his son cos he wants to walk with his son. Not cos he wants to walk the dog. (benefit – time with son). His son has to be told to walk the dog, he does, but there’s no benefit to doing it, so would never volunteer.

Same with anything else. Teenagers do what benefits them. That’s cos they are inherently selfish I’m told. Fine, but you can TEACH them TO THINK ABOUT OTHERS – but what’s the benefit?

They make breakfast for themselves, they don’t offer to make for anyone else (how would they benefit?).
They  don’t think about Xmas presents for other people at all ( how would they benefit?) – I have to make an exception, my Daughter had all hers bought with her own money before I’d even thought about it, and my son bugged me for days to help him, concerned all the good stuff would be sold out.

Instead of thinking about presents and buying something unique, they take the closest thing ( chocolates / whiskey / socks) and wrap them  - they don’t make any effort (How would they benefit).

And you know what ? It’ stems from the parents – the parents have taught them to do nothing without benefiting. As most teenagers say these days “OH the EFFORT!!”   – it’s kinda like that for the parents these days.  What the hell – why bother?

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
― Edmund Burke

The same goes for how we teach our children.

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of thoughtless, ungenerous, selfish, non- community spirited people is for parents  to do nothing with their children, teach them nothing, not guide them, and expect nothing from their children.”  WEM

I mourn for those families  that have lost loved ones yesterday – I mourn for the generation we are bringing up, and I mourn for the loss of the standards that were so important to out Grandparents and parents.  I despair for the future.

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